Venting. Ignore this if you want.
I thought I’d be happy with my job, but lately I’ve been having some fucked up days an I’ve been so fucking depressed and all I want to do right now is to quit my job and sleep until I have to go back to college.
I don’t even know why I’m having these shit days, I’ve been trying to be happy, I have, but it seems that whatever I do, it just backfires and fucks me up.
Now I hate working with kids, why? I used to love them, now I see one and I cringe in disgust.
My life had been going great until last week, where everything decided to implode and just fuck me over. I met a new guy, he’s handsome as hell, funny, smart and cares about me, we went out and it was great, we talk everyday, I’m happy whenever we talk, but the moment I put down my phone, I just become a miserable human being who had happiness drained out of him, I hate this.
Plus, I’ve been losing weight, I haven’t been eating right and now people notice and ask me: “did you lose weight? You look great”. ALL I WANT TO DO IS PUNCH THEM IN THE FACE AND TELL THEM TO GO SUCK A DICK BECAUSE I’M UNHAPPY WHEN I’M THIN, people want to impose the beauty standard on everyone, I’m not pro that, I utterly despise when people think that everyone should look like muscular clean shaven assholes with no tattoos or piercings or thin but “curvy” women with fair skin and blonde hair… Seriously? If I wanted that, I would bust my ass to become like that, but guess what? I want to be happy, and if happiness means being fat, bearded, tattooed, pierced and with a mean ass stare and dogs that look like if you try to approach them they will kill you, then that’s exactly what I want, and if you don’t like it, well, you can go and jump from the highest cliff you can find, and please, don’t ever bother me again saying that I look “great and thin”, because that’s not what I want.
Plus, I’m taking a break from Tumblr for a while, if you want to talk, just kik me: PeteZuvic.
Sorry everyone, if you read it all, then you deserve all the love.